Small Moments of Grace

December 9, 2024

Happy Monday, my friends! I’m not sure about you, but last week was busy. Several big projects seem to come together at the same time and reading the news didn’t help. Yet, I still found myself content, satisfied, even a little surprised.

If Advent is meant to be a time of slowing down, but like me, you find it impossible to slow down during this time of year, then perhaps Advent can be about recognizing the small moments of grace and wonder. We’re told in Matthew 2:17-19 that “When [the shepherds] saw [Jesus], they made known what had been told them about this child, and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds told them, and Mary treasured all these words and pondered them in her heart.” I imagine Mary taking it all in and trying to mix her exhaustion and worry with the grace and surprise of what she was witnessing.

Where do you find wonder during Advent and Christmas? What small grace are you experiencing?

Let us pray: God, help us find wonder in this busy time filled with so many problems, issues, and worry. May we absorb the moments of our lives and ponder them quietly like Mary. We ask this all through your son who was born in a manger. Amen.

Blessings on your weeks, my friends! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Faithfully,

Ben

Quiet, Slow Down, it's Advent

December 2, 2024

Happy Monday, my friends! This being the fourth year of Monday Moments during Advent, I’m sure I’ve mentioned this before, but I hope you’ll indulge me once more. When I was at Sewanee[1], one of our chaplains, the Rev. Annwn Myers, would put up signs around the chapel: “Quiet. Slow down. It’s Advent.” Situated when the night has lengthened, days have turned cold, and there may be snow on the ground, Advent is meant to be a contemplative time when we turn inward and prepare ourselves to remember when God became a person like us. But Advent is also the busy four weeks before Christmas during which there is one of the highest levels of consumer purchasing and charitable giving of the year. I always marveled that a university chaplain would bother to encourage students to slow down and be quiet at the end of a semester whilst preparing final projects and studying for exams.

Advent, framed perfectly in December this year, is indeed a curious time. This pass Thursday we celebrated Thanksgiving and immediately the holiday shopping season began. We hopefully passed Black Friday unscathed and then we retreated home for Small Business Saturday. On Sunday we dropped a little money for our faith communities. If Black Friday crowds aren’t your thing, today is Cyber Monday. Spend from the safety of your own home or from your desk at work (no one’s judging you). After continuing to feed the dragon called late-stage capitalism you can do your penance tomorrow on Giving Tuesday by investing in causes important to you—LOVEboldly is looking to raise $20,000 by December 31, so give generously at www.loveboldly.net/donate. Advent is also the time during which we busy ourselves with planning and holding our Christmas celebrations, whether coffee and tea with friends or elaborate family gatherings. Perhaps especially this year, social media is chock full of tips, tricks, and advice (advisably authentic and dangerously funny) about surviving time with family who we love or are trying to love, but with whom we don’t agree (for example, the image below).

In the midst of all that, how are we possibly supposed to slow down or be quiet? Something I’ve realized in my life is that while I can’t always “make time” or “carve out time,” I can still find some quiet moments or intentionally pause and breathe. Slowing down and being quiet for Advent need not look like long periods of silent reflection, it can be in many little pauses throughout these weeks. While the shopping and planning may be less than relaxing, the celebrating and the time spent with the people we love can be moments of slowing down and being quiet. Personally, I’m looking forward to the quiet moments watching Jack play and helping him do crafts. No, he won’t be quiet, but I will be and I’ll enjoy the simple time with him.

What does slowing down and being quiet mean to you? How could you slow down and be quiet during Advent?

In lieu of a prayer, I commend this song to your hearing. Perhaps it will be true for you and your experience of family gatherings.

Blessings on your weeks, my friends! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Faithfully,

Ben

[1] I mention Sewanee, my alma mater, occasionally in Monday Moments. If you’re not familiar with the university check out www.sewanee.edu.

What are You Thankful For?

November 25, 2024

Happy Monday, my friends! For my mom Thanksgiving has always been the most important holiday. Family without the expectation of gifts has always stood out to her. Though it only happened once or twice, she always envisioned hosting huge celebrations open to anyone who needed a place to go and people to be with on Thanksgiving. I remember one year our church sponsored a community potluck for anyone who wanted to come. The father of one of my classmates confessed to my dad that had it not been for that meal their family would have ordered a pizza. For at least 13 Thanksgivings I was either attending school or working outside of Ohio and for more than a few of those Thanksgivings I couldn’t make it home. While I have memorable stories from most of those, I also spent several alone eating pizza or Chinese food and watching TV.

In an age where social and family norms have lessened among many of us, holding “Friendsgiving” has become popular. Whether times for friends to gather before venturing home to families with different political views and ideologies or celebrations in lieu of a traditional Thanksgiving, these times focus on chosen families rather than on the families we were born into or with whom we were raised. Many Queer people turn to chosen families when the people who raised them turn their backs. Even for Queer people whose biological families are affirming or at least try, we often steel ourselves against the uninformed comments and, particularly this year, the stale rationales for why our family members voted for one candidate over the other.

Check-in on your Queer friends this Thanksgiving. Make sure they have somewhere to go. If you can add a chair or two to your table, invite someone to your celebration. Remember, when you have plenty, build a bigger table, not a higher wall.

What are you thankful for? Who’s invited to your table this Thanksgiving?

Let us pray: God of great abundance, help us find room for the extra guest and a bigger table. Warm our hearts to be extravagant hosts and receiving guests. May we each have enough and still share with others. Remind us that when we welcome others, when we share with others, when we provide for each other, we are welcoming you, sharing with you, and providing for you. Amen.

Blessings on your weeks, my friends! Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Faithfully,

Ben