January 26, 2025
Natalie Hastings
Researcher, Ohioans Against Extremism
Allied Christian
I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy. (Philippians 1:3-4)
My first-born child came to life on a Tuesday evening, around 6:30 p.m. Laboring for hours without any food, I visualized the tiny Pampers diaper was a cardboard box of McDonald’s French fries I would eat after he was born.
Within a half hour, everyone but him was enjoying LaRosa’s pizza in the hospital room.
We named the baby Colin James. Colin for my favorite actor (Colin Firth) and James for my maternal grandfather. A name that sounded masculine but not overly so and with good initials should he need them, “C.J.”
He was such a beautiful baby, with eyelashes that older women who met him would say were “wasted on a boy.”
My beautiful son. And with him, a change in my identity – a mother.
In Colin’s early years, I tried out different styles of motherly domesticity: one who stayed home full-time, one who worked part-time, one who tried to cook, and one who tried to care about tradwife things. None of these were me.
Colin was a particularly picky eater. For about a year, he wanted only cold SpaghettiOs for lunch. He didn’t care about my cooking or “keeping house.”
Instead, we dove deep into everything that interested Colin. Trains: model trains, videos of live trains crossing train tracks, Thomas trains–all the trains. We nerded out on construction vehicles. He memorized the Caterpillar catalog and once made me email their customer service to correct a listing: “It’s not semi-articulated, Mom.”
The wonder of it all.
We fell in love with birds. Bird calls, bird counts, bird walks. Stuffed birds with authentic bird sounds inside. We explored the drawers of bird skins in the museum archives. We drowned in the wonder.
His father and I always knew that Colin would be exceptional; I waited impatiently to learn all of the ways he would amaze and surprise us.
Is It A Sin?
One day, as I drove Colin home from school, he asked me what the Bible said about homosexuality. Was it a sin?
I reassured him that it wasn’t, and I asked why he wanted to know.
A friend was gay, he said.
That day, everything changed for me. We quit attending our church.
While that church didn’t discuss homosexuality as a sin, it also didn’t celebrate being LGBTQIA+ as an equally valid expression of God’s image and of God’s love for us all.
Beautiful, Beautiful Boy
When Colin was ready to tell us that he was bisexual, my husband and I already knew. We were grateful that we had migrated to a church where LGBTQIA+ identity is loved and celebrated even in liturgy. He is loved, just as God made him.
A year later, Colin asked for permission to become “C.J.,” because he wanted a more gender-neutral name.
This hit differently. I had spent hours deep diving name trends on websites and using the social security database to discover which names were rising and falling in popularity in search of a name that wasn’t trendy but also wasn’t falling out of style. Hours of discussion with my husband on each name and even how to spell it.
We chose it before he was born.
I’ve always been fascinated by the parents who wait to “meet” their children before they choose a name. My parents named me Natalie because I was born with jet-black hair. A few months later, my black hair fell out and grew back blond.
When does a parent really meet their child? How could we ever know enough about them to know what name “fits?”
But in 8th grade, when we gave the school permission to change student records to “CJ,” – that was the day we met our son.
It is a gift to know who God made you to be and an even greater gift to understand that God loves you for exactly all of the reasons you are you.
In my prayers, I thank God for my CJ. I rest knowing God celebrates CJ just as he is.
I don’t merely accept my son’s bisexual identity. I thank God for it because he’s exactly who God designed him to be.
Every day, I thank God.
Reflection
Have you ever questioned your value because of any part of your identity? How did you respond?
How can you help others who might be struggling? What information do you need before you could?
Action
Think of someone whose mere presence on this earth has made your life better and reach out to them today. Nothing fancy. Tell them you are grateful for their existence.
コメント