Saying More About Ourselves

Monday, September 15, 2025

Happy Monday, my friends! I spent most of last week engaged in anti-violence, specifically anti-political violence, work. From Monday night through Wednesday afternoon, I attended a retreat hosted by Over Zero, whose Ohio convenings I’ve been attending since the beginning of 2024. Then Over Zero joined with LOVEboldly and Stonewall Columbus to host a training for LGBTQIA+ and allied leaders on Thursday. In the midst of those busy four days, the United States witnessed another school shooting in Colorado and the murder of conservative talking head, Charlie Kirk. I hope you read LOVEboldly’s statement on Kirk’s death, if not you can find it here.

Kirk’s death and its aftermath instructs us about violence, how we respond to violence, and what our responses say about us.

First, violence is never acceptable. Hard and full stop. Violence only begets more violence. Gandhi remarked that “an eye-for-an-eye eventually leaves the whole world blind.” Violence undermines the rule of law and democracy itself. No matter how awful a person was or how repugnant their message, committing violence, particularly murder, is never justified.

Second, the manner of one’s death neither excuses nor silences the legacy of their actions and message. Just as we remember the profound depth and moral clarity of the Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., long after his murder, we too must remember that Charlie Kirk professed white supremacist, generally racist, Queerphobic, and misogynistic views throughout his life. He was well known as a neo-Nazi. He actively organized young people and later faith leaders to support the election of a convicted felon, rapist, and pedophile. The campaigns he led contributed to the ongoing erasure and oppression of Transgender people. His legacy is one of division and rancor.

Third, we can oppose violence and mourn the senseless death of another human even if we choose to not mourn the person who died. No one goes through life without morning the death of people we didn’t know or to whom we had no connection. When a friend’s loved one dies, we mourn that death and we grieve for our friend’s loss. Depending on the person and the closeness to the friend, we might attend the memorial service or calling hours, but often we will do little more than console and be present for our friend. The same is true with Kirk. We should oppose the manner of his death and express general concern for his death, but we are under no obligation to mourn him or to mourn his absence in the world. The line is actively being blurred between celebrating his death and choosing not to mourn his passing. Those options are not the same.

Fourth, we have no authority to request grief from others or police how they choose to grieve. Yes, we should repudiate any celebration of death and violence, but we lack the right to demand that someone grieve Kirk’s death. Kirk espoused and, in some cases, personified extraordinary hate towards members of marginalized communities. No one must share graphics, express condolences, or otherwise exhibit grief.

Ironically, Kirk made a statement several years ago about deaths from gun violence being “worth” protecting the Second Amendment. Even that statement, as ridiculous and callous as it was, does not provide justification for his murder. As a nation we are at a moment when we must choose peaceful public discourse over violence, because violence will continue to erode and destroy the rights and values we all hold.

How do you react to news of violence? How can you stand up to violence?

Let us pray: Gracious God, we continue to live in a culture of fear, violence, and death. We mourn the deaths of people known to us and those we’ve never met. We mourn the deaths of people with whom we agree and those with whom we disagree. We mourn every time anyone uses violence in an attempt to achieve their goals. Still, we struggle to live in a world where some lives mean more than others; where some deaths are met with ridicule, some deaths are met deified with remembering, and most deaths are met with silence. Help us to approach all violence with peaceful resistance and hold not only the perpetrators accountable, but also those people who enable and promote violence. We ask this all in the name of Jesus, our liberator, whose resurrection made the hope of peace a reality. Amen.

Blessings on your weeks, my friends! Let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Faithfully,

Ben +