The First Moment You Felt Pride

Monday, June 9, 2025

Happy Monday and Happy Pride, my friends! If you’ve been listening to episodes of LOVEboldly’s “Coming Out Christian” podcast, you already know that each week Siobhan poses a “Queerie of the Day” (yes, it’s a pun). On episode seven the Queerie was “When was the first time you felt Pride as an LGBTQIA+ person?” I’d have to go back to that episode to remember how I responded, but a related question is, “When do you experience LGBTQIA+ Pride like it is your first time?” In other words, when did Pride surprise you and stick out in ways you weren’t expecting?

That question was answered for me last week. I received one of our monthly emails from my TFAM regional bishop, Tim Wolfe,[1] and, as expected, the June email had a Pride theme. Yet, his words were words I never thought I’d hear or read from a Christian bishop. Here is the passage that caught me and held my attention longer than I needed to read the words.

“June is here and with it comes a sacred convergence of memory, movement, and promise.

This is Pride Month, a time when we honor the sacredness of our identities and the legacy of those who dared to live, love, and lead without apology. We celebrate not only the progress made, but the people who paved the way—those who refused to be erased, those who built altars from ashes, and those who taught us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

We are Black, We are Brown, We are white and We are queer. We are Trans and We are FREE. Gay, Same-gender loving, Polyamorous, Sex-Positive, and Spirit-filled. We are those who worship in truth, walk in justice, and rise in the face of every system that ever said we didn’t belong. And still, We Believe. We believe in love that liberates. We believe in faith that affirms. We believe in a Church that doesn’t just tolerate, but celebrates the full, fierce, fabulous image of God in each of us.”

Reading and reflecting on Bishop Wolfe’s words, I’ve been thinking about the times that the words of religious leaders have spoken to me in the same way. I came out almost 18 years ago. Before that and during that process I was fairly confident that God could not and would not love me. It wasn’t a question. It was a fact. I knew that like sinning, there were certain things that God couldn’t do. I assumed that loving a gay man who wasn’t willing to embrace celibacy was one of those things. God was still all loving, but God was perfect and so was God’s justice. Hence, I should neither expect God to love me nor lament that he couldn’t love me. Several good Episcopal and other clergy and a few more years of experience helped me learn otherwise. When I was at that point of my life I just needed to know that God did and would always love me. Now I need to hear that I can be completely who I am and not only be a devout, faithful Christian, but a pastor and minister.

What do you need to hear, particularly this Pride Month? When did you first feel LGBTQIA+ Pride?

Let us pray: Gracious God, you created each of us and you called us good. This Pride Month bless our beloved LGBTQIA+ community and help us celebrate ourselves and each other like you celebrate us. Grant us love that liberates and faith that affirms. Create in us hearts that always lead with the love that you pour out on us. We ask this all in the name of Jesus, our liberator. Amen.

Blessings on your weeks, my friends! Please let me know if there is anything I can do for you.

Faithfully,

Ben +

[1] On June 22 you can hear more from Bishop Wolfe on episode 10 of “Coming Out Christian.”