LOVEboldly

Monday Musings: Welcome

June 17, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

Working as director of LOVEboldly means I spend much of my life and energy on work which pays in hugs, high fives, and friendships on the good days, scowls, insults, and peaking stress levels on the bad days. For those who aren’t believers, saying I want to help people and make the world a better place might make sense. But for me, it’s about a deep and engulfing desire to welcome God’s presence more fully in this world, in me, and in my fellow person. There’s not enough of Him in this world. I want more. And so, I do the work of LOVEboldly.

I was thinking about this recently in a chapel service I attended, while singing a popular praise song. As the words, “We welcome you with praise” rang out in melodic echoes around me, I began to reflect on my purpose and progress in welcoming God. He gives us the option of inviting Him into or excluding Him from the very spaces he already owns as Creator. He’s already delivered his presence. It’s our job to cooperate with it. The worship leader interrupted my prayers as he began to freestyle sing, “We welcome you to your house” as the music continued.

My heart was struck.
We welcome Him to his house? Do we? Do I?

What about when he comes to us a smelly person, unbathed for weeks, homeless and hungry? Do we welcome him into his house?
What about when he comes to us as a scary person, a person who has been imprisoned for terrible crimes? Do we welcome him into his house?
What about when he comes to us as one who is sick, mentally or physically, damaged by the brokenness of this world and a burden to us? Do we welcome him into his house?
What about when he comes to us as a gay person, a Muslim, a prostitute, a conservative Christian, a socially-awkward person, an enemy, an adulterer, a bigot, a jerk, or a thief? What about then? Do we welcome him into his house?

And if we are not welcoming Him, then where shall He go?
And if He is not in His house, who is it that fills the pews in his place?

In Matthew 25, Jesus says the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when did we see you hungry, thirsty, a stranger, unclothed, sick, or in prison…and take care of your needs?” and he will reply “Whatever you did for the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.”

He welcomed us when we were his enemies (Romans 5). Can we do any less?

Transition Radio Interview

June 13, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

Transition Radio recently invited us onto their show for an interview and I’m glad to share it with you all! Transition Radio is a prominent media source to support those that are Transgender, Transsexual, Cross Dressers, Gender Non-Conforming, Gender Queer, Gender Questioning individuals and Allies remember there is no such thing as ‘not trans enough’.

It was a joy to chat with Mark Angelo and Jessica Lynn Cummings, a trans couple, last week. Make sure to check out their station. Here’s the interview.

Gay Pride 2013 – How You Can Join Us!

June 9, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

June 29, 2013 is Gay Pride in Lexington. If you're wondering what Gay Pride is all about, check out our series from last year: Hey Gays, Why So Proud?

We've talked before about Why Gays Deserve An Apology from Christians and last year we hosted an apology booth at Lexington Gay Pride . We made signs (like the one above) and t-shirts that apologized to the LGBT community for the way the church has historically abused them. We gave out freeze-pops and hand fans, and had a great time meeting lots of wonderful new people.

A lot has happened over the last year! This year at Lexington Gay Pride we will be kicking off our newest initiative, The VOICES PROJECT. Through this new initiative, members of the LGBT community and the Church will be invited to share personal stories, experiences, questions, and struggles with one another through submitting written works, videos, photos, and art projects for feature on our website and in upcoming videos and educational experiences. Read more about it here.

Unfortunately, we are running out of time to raise the necessary funds!

If LOVEboldly has been helpful to you or someone you love, please consider donating towards our booth at Pride, or becoming a sponsor of The VOICES PROJECT.

We need to raise the lion's share of this by the end of this week:

T-Shirt Printing $315
Printed Promotional Handout Materials $50
Art Supplies for Graffiti Wall $100
Booth Space $150 TOTAL NEED: $615

Every donation helps!
Giving online is easy peasy and you can do it here! A couple of clicks and it's done (or click the 'make a donation' button in the upper right hand corner). We also accept donation by check (contact us if this is your preferred method).

If money is tight right now, consider being a volunteer:
We are taking volunteers in 2-hour shifts to help us man the table, coordinate The VOICES Project graffiti wall and videos, and offer hugs, prayers, and apologies! If you would like to sign up for a 2 hour shift (or more) you can sign up here. You should be familiar with Our Vision and it would be great if you'd review the Defeating Agendas Videos before the event (most especially Session 3). Those videos can be accessed here.

Support us with prayer:
If you're strapped for cash or not local to the Lexington, KY area, you can still help us out by joining the prayer team. Prayer requests will be live updated from now through the day of Pride with requests we need covered, and any that folks ask us to add to the list from our interactions with them at Pride. Check that out here.

And, as always, feel free to contact us with any questions or comments!

The VOICES PROJECT

June 6, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

LOVEboldly is thrilled to introduce The VOICES PROJECT, our newest initiative towards allowing those with personal stock in the discussion on faith and sexual orientation/gender identity to let their voices be heard! Through this new initiative, members of the LGBT community and the Church will be invited to share personal stories, experiences, questions, and struggles with one another through submitting written works, videos, photos, and art projects for feature on our website and in upcoming videos and educational experiences.

Already, we are inviting folks across the spectrum of faith and sexuality to share their thoughts and perspectives with one another through our “Consider This Perspective” series, our SAFE Talks meetings, and through hosting community dinners for members of the church and the LGBT community. The VOICES PROJECT will continue these efforts and add a new personal touch which can be shared around the world.

Our kick-off of The VOICES PROJECT will be held on June 29, 2013 at Gay Pride in Lexington, KY. LOVEboldly will invite members of the LGBT community to share, “What do you wish straight Christians knew about you?” through participation in a collaborative art project (i.e. Graffiti Wall) and video interviews. The VOICES PROJECT won’t stop there though. We will invite members of faith communities and the LGBT community to continue to share their stories, perspectives, and humanity with one another (for example, asking conservative Christians, “What do you wish the LGBT community knew about you?”)

LOVEboldly has always endeavored to bring people together who have differing views related to faith and sexuality/gender, in order to facilitate conversations that move toward friendships. And now, with The VOICES PROJECT, we will be hosting new and exciting ways for this collaborative conversation to happen across geographic and idealistic boundaries. Our goal is to learn together how to have better conversations, talking with one another rather than at one another, and remembering that reconciliation and friendships can occur even with people with whom we may radically disagree.

Through the efforts of The VOICES PROJECT, we hope to break both the stony silence, and divisive speech, that exists between the church and the LGBT community. We believe that providing safe places to articulate our stories, experiences, beliefs, questions, and struggles will provide opportunities for us all to honor the dignity, worth, and humanity of one another.

Will you join us?

For more information on becoming a sponsor for The VOICES PROJECT, click here.

To sign up to contribute your story, click here.

Special thanks to Pixl Motion for designing our logo for the Voices Project. Check them out here: http://www.pixlmotion.com/

Monday Musings: Misinterpretations

June 3, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

People Just Misinterpreted Him...

My semi-mischievous sense of humor allows me deep appreciation for pictures like the one above. Props and credits to whoever coined that one. I’m not sure Jesus hated figs, but I know he didn’t hate…well…you know. But seeing this picture, and thinking about all the times we say one thing only for people to hear us saying another got me to wondering…

Do you ever feel misinterpreted?

I do. Frequently.

But more notably, I encounter other people everyday who feel misinterpreted. Traditionally-minded Christians feel misinterpreted by LGBT folks when they are called biggots for believing the Bible calls for a stricter sexual ethic than their more liberal counterparts. LGBT people feel misinterpreted when their requests to be treated like everyone else are spun as an agenda to destroy morality, families, or marriages. Gay Christians who choose celibacy because of devotion to spiritual beliefs feel misinterpreted when the LGBT community calls them sexually repressed. Transgender people feel misunderstood in doctor’s offices, in public restrooms, and walking down the street with the ugly stares and sneers. Same-sex attracted individuals feel misinterpreted when people interpret their commitment to their opposite-sex spouse and children as an indicator of cowardice and slavery to society’s norms.

Let’s be honest – it’s not just about feeling misunderstood. Sometimes, we really are misunderstood.

Some might call that photo above sacrilegious. But I think it points to a very real truth. If anyone was misunderstood during his time on earth, it was Christ (although I doubt it had anything to do with figs). Called a heretic, false prophet, a liar, and a criminal, Christ was crucified for crimes he didn’t commit, for a people he came to help, on a cross made from a tree that his God-nature helped to form at the creation of the world. Talk about being misunderstood.

When we’re misunderstood we might try to explain ourselves. We might try to apologize. We might get defensive. We might get angry and hurtful in return. We might misunderstand those who misunderstand us.

But take hope. There is one who will never misunderstand you, because he knows you, through and through. This is the most joyful and terrifying thing of all – to be known for who we really are. So for all the moments when you really are misunderstood, perhaps this passage will bring you comfort as it has for me over the years.

Psalm 25:1-3,16-17, 20-21
In you, LORD my God, I put my trust. I trust in you; do not let me be put to shame, nor let my enemies triumph over me. No one who hopes in you will ever be put to shame, but shame will come on those who are treacherous without cause. Turn to me and be gracious to me, for I am lonely and afflicted. Relieve the troubles of my heart and free me from anguish. Guard my life and rescue me; do not let me be put to shame, for I take refuge in you. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope, LORD, is in you.

What about you? What encourages you when you’re misunderstood?

Not Your Average Celibate Christian

May 29, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

When it comes to sexuality, I am not your average celibate Christian.

I spent the first 20 years of my life not having sex, then transitioned to seven years of married sex, and am now entering my third year of living as a single-again, non-virgin, who sometimes begrudgingly continues to choose to not have sex (it’s an unholy attitude, I know). My perspective and theology on sexuality has changed quite a bit from the wide-eyed, innocent, sexually repressed young adult version of me which existed up until age 20.

I like sex. I think it’s great fun, and an incredible way to express intimacy and commitment to a partner. I have to talk myself out of having it, and someday, I hope to meet someone worth sharing it with again. In the meantime, I am constantly frustrated with most popular evangelical Christian explorations of sexuality. Popular Christian literature often asserts sexual boundaries which are far and away based on Old Testament marriage practices re-appropriated to American cultural assumptions. The result is an unnecessary focus on finding ‘the one’, extraordinary pressure on opposite-sex friendships and dating/courting relationships, unnecessary limitations on healthy, innocent expressions of affection and sexuality, and a focus on repressing rather than managing our sexual urges. Where is the real world, and where is a faithful Biblical hermeneutic, in the popular evangelical Christian mandates for opposite-sex friendships, dating, and shared expressions of sexuality?

Here’s an example. This week I read yet another Christian perspective which espoused statements that sounded like statistical measures but are seemingly made-up. The statement was that our sexuality is 20 percent body-driven and 80 percent mind-driven. No evidence or citation was given for this arbitrary numerical assessment about how we function sexually. I’m not even sure what it means, but it seems pretty wrong to me. My body more often instinctually tells my mind what to think sexually, rather than my mind deciding what my body wants sexually. But for some reason, we keep on constructing arbitrary ideas about sexuality and theories for romantic engagements, which we define as the ‘biblical’ ones.

Another example. This week, I read that expression of sexuality, including innocent kissing and flirtation, is considered inappropriate, unhealthy, and outside of ‘God’s design’ for relationships which are not intentionally preparing for marriage. In this model, you shouldn’t kiss anyone except a boyfriend or girlfriend with whom you are exploring the possibility of marriage. This is supposedly the ‘Biblical’ way (Biblical references strangely absent from this assertion). For some people, kissing may be a very important and sacred thing to reserve for their spouse-to-be. I respect that and encourage those folks to abstain until they meet their partner. But what about the rest of us? As is the case for most Christians, kissing is a simple means of expressing affection or sexual desire and, in my opinion, entirely appropriate within the context of less serious romantic connections. Where is there scriptural evidence that God mandates against that? I am not arguing for a loose sexuality, but one in which we recognize, share, and express ourselves sexually and authentically, respecting appropriate social and spiritual boundaries, avoiding objectifying behavior, and also remembering that expressing appropriate affection and sexual longing is meant to be enjoyable.

I spent the first 20 years of my life agreeing with they typical evangelical sexual theories and boundaries, but not knowing why I agreed. Going from virgin, to married and sexually active, to single again and celibate has caused me to re-examine God’s standards for our sexuality, and most of the Christian literature is found wanting. In many evangelical circles, made-up statistics and evidence-less theories related to sexuality are tossed about the room while everyone nods in agreement, false piety intact, never understanding why these theories don’t match their experiences and wondering how long until they can find some sexual relief or satisfaction. In the Church, the conversation on sexuality frequently emphasizes how to hold onto virginity rather than on what it means to be a disciple of Christ with our sexuality, learning stewardship, loving and honoring one another, and emphasizing the virtues of purity and chastity to replace the vice of lust.

I’m ready for something a bit more faithful from evangelical Christians regarding sexuality. Are you?

Living Judgment-Free: Christy Wade of LOVEboldly

May 7, 2013 by christylwade

Recently, Natalie Cunningham from Bourbon & Beans interviewed me for a guest spot on her blog. Bourbon & Beans is a “sassy and savvy marketing collaborative” that seeks to provide customized planning, marketing, and design services to small businesses/entrepreneurs and non-profit clients – especially those with environmental and social concepts in their mission.”

Check the interview out at: Living Judgment-Free: Christy Wade of LOVEboldly

Monday Musings: Knowing vs. Being Known

April 22, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

1 Corinthians 8:1b-3
We know that we all possess knowledge. Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up. The man who thinks he knows something does not yet know as he ought to know. But the man who loves God is known by God.

As a seminary student, it’s easy to get lost in the quest for knowledge. Learn more, contribute more, process more, know more. We chase after knowing as our call – so that we may help others know more.

But what is lost? Paul says in this passage that it is love we should seek above knowledge. More than seeking to know, we should seek to be known by God, and that is achieved by the one who loves God.

My challenge to you all this week is simple. Decide to set aside your desperate hunt for answers. Exchange it instead for a desperate hunger to be known by God. Love Him passionately. The rest works itself out.

LOVEboldly is not just our name – it is our primary call.

Grace and peace to you this week!

Consider This Perspective – Randy Roberts Potts

April 10, 2013 by christylwade

Welcome to another installment of LOVEboldly’s interview series. Previously , Derek Webb (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3), Logan Mehl-Laituri, Tripp York, Wesley Hill, Jen Thweatt-Bates, Peterson Toscano, Jenell Paris, and Alan Chambers (Part 1, Part 2, Part 3) offered their perspectives on a number of issues related to faith and sexuality. Now we are privileged to share an interview with Randy Roberts Potts.

Randy Roberts Potts has worked with juvenile delinquents on the East Coast, was a social worker in Oklahoma City, spent five years as a middle school English teacher, and is now a freelance writer for several publications including The Washington Post, Box Turtle Bulletin, The Advocate, This Land Press, D Magazine, and others.

Randy wrote about his coming out experience as the grandson of televangelist Oral Roberts in the recent It Gets Better book and spends his life trying to spread a message of hope to gay youth. He is also a public speaker and has spoken on a gay cruise, for gay pride, in churches, high schools, universities and LGBT centers across the country.

Randy launched a project called “The Gay Agenda,” a performance art piece designed for conservative areas across the country. For more information on Randy, you can visit his website.

For those who may not know you, you are the grandson of late televangelist Oral Roberts. What was it like growing up as a member of this family? How did it shape your early views of God?

As a child I was very passionately religious and a devout holy roller Pentecostal. Sometime in middle school that began to break down as I struggled with my sexuality and other aspects of what my religion taught me.

How has your view of God changed since coming to terms with your sexuality?

Coming out hasn’t affected my view of God at all but it has drastically altered my view of religion, especially the one I grew up within. Among Evangelicals, the Bible is used opportunistically as a weapon with which to beat homosexuals and many commit suicide as a result. Even so, I don’t mix up man’s use of religion with my views on God and know that Jesus’ message had nothing to do with this behavior.

What do you think of mixed orientation marriages?

They are intensely problematic and unfair on so many levels and I spent 11 years within one. The platonic love that is possible is not enough to ease the natural sexual tension for the two individuals and sex cannot be emotionally healing in such a relationship and therefore a huge divide exists between such couples. I certainly wouldn’t recommend this type of arrangement.

Tell us about your project The Gay Agenda. What sparked this idea? How has it been received?

The idea for the gay agenda project came from a dream I had, in which Keaton and I were living in a glass box in Central Park in NYC. I realized it wouldn’t be controversial for two men to keep house in Central Park but it would be on Main Street in small town USA. The reception has been mixed — we have not found a way to execute the project in a way that is effective — meaning, finding safe, available locations in which to perform has meant that we have audiences already too friendly. I still think it could be effectively carried out but I don’t feel it has yet lived up to expectations.

What do you wish the straight, evangelical Christian community knew about the LGBTQ community?

The main thing I would ask the straight, evangelical Christian community to do is to recognize our humanity, that we are human beings who fall in love and seek to build lives together. Paul in the New Testament says that in Christ there is no gender and, hey, the LGBTQ community gets this, why don’t evangelicals?

Please tell us about any current and/or new projects on which you are working?

No new projects at the moment; my husband and I are newly married and just bought a house and heavily involved in feathering our nest with our three kiddos in Texas.

Comments Policy:

At LOVEboldly we embrace controversy, dissenting opinions and even a good debate now and then. However, we also value civility, kindness, and respect. Therefore, please feel free to share your opinion, but keep it constructive, considerate, and civilized. If you choose to be rude we will delete your comment. Do so consistently and we will ban you. And yes, we do get to define the terms.

Monday Musings: Losing Hope In Humanity

April 7, 2013 by Heidi Weaver

This week I bring you a Scripture, a story, a song, and a reflection.

The Scripture:
Romans 5:3-8 “We rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

The Story:
Recently, after several weeks of my personal life and LOVEboldly work kicking me around, I was bruised. I had been watching one relationship after another, even in my own life, suffer the consequences of division, distrust, suspicion, betrayal, violation, and flat-out cruelty. I had been wondering where God was in all of this mess. I was feeling cynical and angry and worn out. I did what every normal person would do in this situation. I ran away to a cabin in the woods for the weekend. I slept, I journaled, I stayed up late, I prayed, I cried, I took a bath, I drank wine, I lit candles, I cooked, I sat in a rocking chair, I made myself a cup of tea, and I turned off my phone.

On my way home I called my sister. I needed someone to restore my hope in humanity and if anyone can do that, it’s my sister. This is the woman who made me the playlists which carried me through my divorce. There was one for every moment and mood and I listened to them nonstop in my grief. These playlists rocked me to sleep at night and awoke me in the morning – “Angry Music”, “Happy Music”, “Christian Music”, “Just Dang Good Music”, and “Sad Music”. I laughed and cried to it and prayed countless prayers in the presence of those tunes. Most of all, I got my voice, my spunk, and my life back.

“I need some music”, I told her that day on my way home from the cabin. “I need to remember my purpose.” “I’m on it.” She said and within the week I had “Do Good Tunes”, a strangely perfect hodgepodge of hope-inducing, nostalgic, determined, sassy, inspiring music. It’s glorious. The tunes give me strength, but the real impact is felt because they’re a gift of love from my sister, and I know she is cheering me on through them.

The Song:
Driving home from church yesterday, windows down, the late arriving spring beauty flying through my hair, I flipped on “Do Good Tunes.” Bob Dylan’s voice filled my car and I found my awful and awe-filled recent wonderings in his words:

“Blowin’ In The Wind”
How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?
How many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?
Yes, how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they’re forever banned?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Yes, how many years can a mountain exist
Before it’s washed to the sea?
Yes, how many years can some people exist
Before they’re allowed to be free?
Yes, how many times can a man turn his head
Pretending he just doesn’t see?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

Yes, how many times must a man look up
Before he can really see the sky?
Yes, how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?
Yes, how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?
The answer my friend is blowin’ in the wind
The answer is blowin’ in the wind.

The Reflection:
I don’t know how many roads, seas, cannon balls, years, times, ears, and deaths are needed to set things right in our world. Sometimes the cause may seem hopeless. Perhaps yours does. Perhaps it feels as if the answer is just blowing in the wind, always just outside of your reach. But we will not lose hope. We will not. Every step forward is a step forward.

He will give us the endurance we need. It will produce in us character and hope, a hope not rooted in our circumstances resolving as we wish but, better, in an assurance that He has given of himself so that the ways we hurt one another in this world will be finally resolved in His love and salvation.

Thanks be to God.
This is bold love – that “while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”
Let us never lose hope in this sort of love – it is everlasting.