#AskingForAFriend

Real responses from LGBTQIA+ people on the questions that trouble you.
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Do you have questions regarding faith and sexual orientation or gender identity, but avoid asking them for fear of saying the wrong thing, sounding insensitive, or coming across as unloving?

 

By #AskingForAFriend you can anonymously ask your most pressing questions, and one of our carefully selected LGBTQIA+ Christian panelists will respond. Our panel consists of friends of LOVEboldly who we know, love, and trust. They are committed to providing sensitive and respectful answers.

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Meet Our Panelists

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John Backman (she/her) is a writer, spiritual director, and monastic associate who also goes by Janelle. Some of her personal essays explore what it’s like to be bigender—a gender within the Q of LGBTQIA+—while others relate to contemplative spirituality and the ways it collides with postmodern life. John’s book, Why Can’t We Talk? Christian Wisdom on Dialogue as a Habit of the Heart, describes how the inner transformation wrought by the Spirit can empower us to listen to all people with curiosity and an open heart. John welcomes the chance to answer questions about gender identity that you’ve had but weren’t sure who to ask.

John Backman

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Siobhan Boyd-Nelson

Siobhan Boyd-Nelson (she/her) is a native of Columbus, OH and is Director of Development & External Relations at Equality Ohio, the statewide advocacy and education organization for LGBTQ Ohioans. She is a graduate of Liberty Christian Academy, Howard University and OSU. Until early adulthood, Siobhan believed that her same-sex attractions, Black identity and Christian faith could never be reconciled. After being exposed to the examples and writings of Bishop Yvette Flunder (City of Refuge UCC, Oakland, CA) and others, Siobhan began to seek what she never thought she could have–a spiritual home that could be shared with her spouse, Maritza. Today, Siobhan and Maritza call Move United Church (UCC) home. Siobhan serves on the board and Maritza plays in the band.

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Alex Shanks (he/him) is Rachel’s husband, Ella Marie’s papa, and a transman. He considers himself a thinker, woodworker, storyteller, servant leader, and spiritual seeker. After studying Organizational Communication, Religion, and Entrepreneurship at Ohio Northern University, he held various vocational ministry roles. Most recently he worked for Equality Ohio where he developed their faith organizing initiatives, and for Reconciling Ministries Network as North Central Regional Organizer. Currently, he is serving the LGBTQ+ community as Associate Director of Prevention for Equitas Health.

Alex Shanks

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Carson Sotelo (he/him) is member of New City Presbyterian Church in Cincinnati, OH. He has a Bachelor’s degree in Mathematics, Spanish, and International Studies from Saint Louis University. Carson seeks to pursue what it looks like for a gay Christian to live out a life that honors God, and believes that includes upholding a traditional sex ethic. He currently teaches English as a Second Language and leads a community group through New City. He resides in Cincinnati, OH.

Carson Sotelo

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Kelly Crouch (they/them) is a bisexual and genderqueer Christian from Southwest Ohio. Kelly wrestled with questions of faith and sexuality at an early age, having grown up in a rural community with fundamentalist perspectives on queer people.

Kelly holds a Master of Arts from Union Theological Seminary in the City of New York with a Social Ethics concentration. They are currently in the process of becoming a recorded minister in the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers). Currently, Kelly is attending the London School of Economics while residing in London, England.

Kelly Crouch

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Gregory Coles (he/him) is the author of Single, Gay, Christian: A Personal Journey of Faith and Sexual Identity (InterVarsity Press, 2017) and No Longer Strangers: Finding Belonging in a World of Alienation (InterVarsity Press, 2021). He holds a PhD in English from Penn State and lives in Boise, Idaho, where he works as a writer, speaker, and editor. You can follow his authorial activities on Facebook or at gregorycoles.com.

Gregory Coles

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Rachel Dew

Rachel Dew (she/her) cares deeply for those on the margins and has always valued building bridges of learning, understanding, and friendship between diverse groups of people. She credits her children with giving her the courage and motivation to develop her voice as an everyday advocate for inclusivity, equity, and justice in her community.
Her journey of acceptance with her transgender child, and the subsequent hurt she experienced in the church, has given her a heart for coming alongside Christian parents of LGBTQI children to provide a safe space of love and support. She holds a B.A. in Sociology from Ohio University and a certificate in Leadership and Theology from the Vineyard Institute.

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Aaron Munson

Aaron Munson (he/him) is a licensed school counselor and a licensed mental health counselor (LMHC) who provides virtual counseling for people who are struggling to reconcile their faith and their sexuality/sexual orientation. Aaron also leads a parent group for parents of LGBTQ+ kids to support them on their faith journey as they seek to love their kids well. This work is important to Aaron because he identifies as gay. In light of his traditional 
sexual ethic, Aaron responded to God's prompting to enter into a mixed orientation marriage to his favorite human, Liz, and they have two incredible and curious children. Although Aaron has a traditional sexual ethic, he doesn't push others to believe the same, as he recognizes every encounter with God is different, and every person's story is unique. To that end, Aaron and Liz are both passionate about helping the church love those in the LGBTQ+ community, and making churches safe places for queer people.  

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Sarah Abbey

Sarah Abbey (she/her) is a recent graduate of the George Washington University. Sarah identifies as Queer-Lesbian Demisexual to be more precise.  She is fascinated by the intersection between race/ethnicity, sexuality, and Christianity and how they help to foster a sense of belonging, develop collective narratives, and create meaningful communities.  She loves queer theory, good books, and deep conversations. She holds Side B theology while intentionally advocating for queer dignity and liberation, regardless of one’s theological beliefs. Sarah is constantly challenged by the unique ways marginalized people know God and seek to serve him, even at great personal costs. You can find her on twitter @saraheabbey, where she posts super sporadically (but lurks constantly).

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Liz (she/her) has been on a journey of reconciling her faith and sexuality over the past decade. She is in what the side B community calls a mixed-orientation marriage and is passionate about helping other couples with similar stories know that they don't have to walk through the joys and challenges of marriage by themselves. While she felt compelled by God to enter into her marriage, she firmly believes God moves in other people's lives in very different and equally beautiful ways. We are all welcome at God's table. Liz identifies as a nonbinary lesbian who can often be caught reading, loves to travel, cooking new recipes, and going on adventures with her family. 

Liz Munson

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Marissa Adams (she/her) is a Christian intersex woman who has been involved in intersex advocacy and support for 8 years. She has been a volunteer youth advocate at interACT: Advocates for Intersex Youth since 2013 and is currently the communications coordinator at the InterConnect Support Group which is the largest and old support group for intersex people in the United States. She participated in Dr. Megan DeFranza and Lianne Simon's documentary Stories of Intersex and Faith and currently serves as the board treasurer for the organization Intersex and Faith. She is passionate about advocating for intersex rights and using her story to support and inspire other intersex people. 

Marissa Adams

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Melinda Moran

Melinda Garza Moran (she/her) is an advocate and volunteer with the LGBTQ+ community. Her advocacy work began with Affirmations, Michigan's largest LGBTQ community center. As a Christian mother of a gay son, she has seen the heartbreak of many teens and young adults who have been rejected by their biological and church families. Melinda is a dedicated volunteer for LOVEboldly and volunteered with GLSEN, and Safe and Supported. She has a B.S. in Leadership and is currently studying for a Master of Divinity degree with a concentration in Justice and Reconciliation at Luther Seminary. Melinda will be seeking ordination in the ELCA (Evangelical Church in America). She is an active member of Prince of Peace Lutheran church, where she serves as a Council Leader. Melinda resides in Lebanon, Ohio and enjoys spoiling her grandsons.

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Lyndon Parker

Lyndon Parker (they/them) completed a Certificate in Christian Studies at Asbury Theological Seminary in 2018. They live in Delaware, Ohio, and currently lead groups on the topic of LGBT+ at the church they attend. They are in the initial steps of forming Circle Ministries which seeks to help create a place for healing, learning and inclusion of LGBT+ people in the traditional church. While Lyndon came out as gay in the 1980s, they have only recently embraced their transgender identity. They currently serve as the founding president of PFLAG Delaware which was officially established in May 2021. PFLAG Delaware is a local chapter of a national organization that offers education, advocacy and support for family, friends, allies and LGBT+ individuals.